Saturday, March 19, 2011


I am scared.

To think these thoughts.
To give in to these feelings.
To write this post.

The last week has made me think about our future in a totally different way. A little over a week ago we were going to be parents. Our baby was due October 15, 2011 and was going to be present for all of the 2011 Holidays. 

Now all I can do is think about the unknown we will face in these next few months. 
This is my fear: the Unknown.

Will we get pregnant again? Will I lose another baby?
Is there something wrong with me?

I am scared. I know that is part of the healing and recovering so I am trying not to feel guilty about all of these crazy emotions. At the same time, I just can't shake 'em. 

I keep telling myself that God only gives us what we can handle and that I am strong enough to overcome this. 

I will be the mother I am meant to be. I know it's true. In my heart I do. 

I just have to keep reminding my brain. 

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