I am scared.
To think these thoughts.
To give in to these feelings.
To write this post.
The last week has made me think about our future in a totally different way. A little over a week ago we were going to be parents. Our baby was due October 15, 2011 and was going to be present for all of the 2011 Holidays.
Now all I can do is think about the unknown we will face in these next few months.
This is my fear: the Unknown.
Will we get pregnant again? Will I lose another baby?
Is there something wrong with me?
I am scared. I know that is part of the healing and recovering so I am trying not to feel guilty about all of these crazy emotions. At the same time, I just can't shake 'em.
I keep telling myself that God only gives us what we can handle and that I am strong enough to overcome this.
I will be the mother I am meant to be. I know it's true. In my heart I do.
I just have to keep reminding my brain.