So. Today I went back to work
(if you don't count the 1 day I went last week before the clotting and Cytotec)
I feel good that I am back into the groove of things, but at the same time, I feel like it's all so pointless. I don't have Maveric in my belly and so what else matters? I know that this is the grief talking and that things will get better, but I am just feeling so lost still.
Originally, I wanted to wait till I had lost another 25 pounds to try again, but after thinking more and more about it, and Rob and I talking about it more and more; we decided that we would wait the two cycles and make the decision then.
I just have these fears that if we wait too long, and this keeps happening (dear God no) that we will miss out on our take*home baby. I understand this may be totally irrational, but I don't want to wait 6 months. I want to do my very best to lose weight and my very best to be a Mom.